Tenacity to Purpose

Have you ever heard a lot about a particular person & then when you met them they turned out to be the opposite of what you expected? Have you ever found that your experience of them did not match the story that you heard? As people we created narratives all the time. Narratives about ourselves and our family. We do this when it comes to our work life, our social circle, everything. These narratives are the way in which we choose to understand and present certain situations and events in our lives. The same can be done with the different people in our life.   I think one needs to always be aware of the narrative that they are creating about different areas of your life. We need to be able to nonjudgmentally question and analyse some of the stories that we have created about certain parts of our lives. As humans we tend to shift to the “lack” mentality whenever we are trying to achieve something and it isn’t working out, or when we realise that we are missing something in our ...

I am a shapeshifter.  Always have been.  It's a skill I learned From a young age.  As a kid I learned the importance of speaking My mind , just not in Front of elders.  So, I can be as quiet As a church mouse And then be able to Give my opinion Very decidedly,  Given the right audience.  I am a shapeshifter.  I am able to move Between the different Roles that I play In my life.  I can go from being the Therapist with the Listening ear,  To being the best friend That vents and cries Over voicenotes.  I am a shapeshifter.  I can go from being proud To be black,  To being tired of being black.  Because it's tiring to be Black in this world sometimes.  I go from being proud Of being a woman,  To feeling like I'm being Punished.  Because apparently being A woman is a crime worthy Of punishment.  I am a shapeshifter.  Working hard to be An independent,  goal driven woman.  But wanting to be a ...

A couple of months ago, I was faced with a maintenance issue in my flat. It escalated so quickly that I needed someone to immediately come and help me because it was now an emergency. Because this unfortunate event happened after hours, nobody had a permit to work at night, which meant that I had to nurse the situation until morning, until a professional could come and fix it. A lot of the times when we are in emergency situations it is easy to be inconsolable and if we do not have the right people there willing to help us, it can become a mess really quick. Immediately I contacted the closest people to me, both physically and emotionally, and explained the situation. In that moment I did not feel alone in the situation even though I was physically alone. So I got through the night and had someone lined up to come and fix it first thing in the morning. Immediately when the kind handyman showed up, he knew exactly what the problem was and he was able to fix it in less than 30 minutes....

We are in week 5 of the national lockdown, and I think that we can all agree that this has been the longest April in the history of Aprils. And at this point in time, I think we're allowed to pretend that April never happened. When your kids ask you what happened in April of 2020, you have my full permission to say that it never happened. With lockdown we have lost a lot of control over our lives. Where we go, how we get there, how we get our work done and how kids are getting through school. Some of us had big plans for this time of year. Some people were about to get married, some were about to buy a car, maybe you were even about to move to another province. Everything that we had planned, is now on pause until further notice. This has created a bit of anxiety because Covid19 is real, and our routine as we know it has gone out the window. As human beings we love to plan because not only does it give us something to look forward to but it also gives us a sense of control. Have yo...

On the first day of lockdown I was running a leisure group with a colleague, and I asked each of the clients to name their favourite game as a child. After each person in the room had had their turn, I asked them to think back to how they felt when they were playing that game, and when was the last time they had that same feeling. I have written on many occasions about our need to keep busy and giving too much focus on work. But one thing that we have lost as a result of focusing on the grind is our ability to play. When was the last time you played, and laughed and felt as free as a bird? It was upon asking my clients that question that I myself was forced to reflect and ask myself what has been stopping me from playing and creating moments where I can experience joy with no sign of anxiety or stress in sight? It is easy to blame our schedules, our responsibilities and even our dependents for having less time to play. But the truth is that we are in control of how we spend our t...

There are days. There are days when it feels as if it is winter. But it is only winter for me. Everybody else is experiencing summer together. They are enjoying the rays of the sun, basking in its warmth.  There are days. Days when coffee isn't enough to wake me up. When chocolate no longer lifts my mood. And music doesn't do the trick because I can't even decide which song I want to listen to. There are days. Days when I wish that I could sleep for 12 hours straight, so that I have less of the day to deal with. So I can talk less and keep the fake smiles to a minimum.  Days when it feels like it isn't just cold outside, but inside as well. And when those days come. Because they do come. I choose to wait it out. No use in fighting. No use in using the little energy that I have. So I wait. I wait for a sunny day. I wait for the clouds to go away. Because trying to fight it sometimes only makes it worse. And there...