Have you ever heard a lot about a particular person &
then when you met them they turned out to be the opposite of what you expected?
Have you ever found that your experience of them did not match the story that
you heard? As people we created narratives all the time. Narratives about ourselves
and our family. We do this when it comes to our work life, our social circle,
everything. These narratives are the way in which we choose to understand and
present certain situations and events in our lives. The same can be done with
the different people in our life.
I think one needs to always be aware of the narrative that
they are creating about different areas of your life. We need to be able to
nonjudgmentally question and analyse some of the stories that we have created
about certain parts of our lives. As humans we tend to shift to the “lack”
mentality whenever we are trying to achieve something and it isn’t working out,
or when we realise that we are missing something in our life. Gratitude can
then be used to change the narrative and make us realise that we actually have
a lot to be thankful for, and whatever we think we are lacking will come when
the time is right.
We create stories about different situations throughout the
day. The guy that cut you off in traffic. The lady that walked into the shop
without a mask. The truth is that the narratives we create can be informed by
whatever emotion we are experiencing at that moment, beliefs that we hold about
that thing or even your sense of loyalty to someone or something. Let's take
your partner or spouse for example. Whether it is the narrative in your mind
about them. The narrative you share with others about them. The narrative that
you share with them about themselves! You need to be very careful and very mindful
because sometimes the story that we tell ourselves about that person can be the
very thing that can prevent you for seeing them from a different perspective.
For example, let’s say your partner has decided to not be on
social media. You may choose to believe that they are old school and they are
"an old dog that can't learn new tricks". The truth could be that for
their own peace of mind and mental health, they cannot be part and parcel of
the Black Twitter streets. But now you've told all of your friends your
narrative, so much so that even when they meet him/her, they aren’t able to get
the word "old school" out of their minds. Be careful of the narrative
that you create because if you believe in it enough and preach about it enough,
your partner might just start living that narrative out, just to prove you
right. These things happen! People start living out the badges that others have
placed on them (death and life are in the power of the tongue).
I just want to encourage you to really think about some of
the narratives that you have created about certain areas of your life. Do you
need a change of perspective? Have you been planting good or bad seeds with the
narratives that you have shared? Is there a situation in your life that
actually has more pros than cons, but the story you created prevented you from
seeing the good?
