Be You!

Definition of shame (Merriam -Webster)

1 a:  a painful emotion caused by consciousness of guilt, shortcoming, or impropriety b:  the susceptibility to such emotion 

2:  a condition of humiliating disgrace or disrepute 
3 a:  something that brings censure or reproach; also: something to be regretted: a cause of feeling shame

Definition of guilt

2a :  the state of one who has committed an offense especially consciously b :  feelings of deserving blame especially for imagined offenses or from a sense of inadequacy :  self-reproach
3:  a feeling of deserving blame for offenses Wracked by guilt, he confessed his affairs.


Have you ever been in a situation where you stuck to your guns, and things just fell apart? Have you ever been in a situation where you were determined to stick to your morals and values, and everybody around you made you feel alienated? And I chose this specific word because in rooms where everybody is going in one direction, and you’re wanting to choose the other option, you’re made to feel like the alien in the room.

In a world where we’re all expected to fit into a specific mould and abide by certain rules, feelings of guilt and shame can be placed on your shoulders like a jacket in cold weather.  Research on shame showed that the fastest way to combat shame is to be yourself, but oftentimes we’re shamed for being ourselves. Shame relates to self, while guilt relates to others. An example would be acting a certain way in a situation and feeling guilty for how you made others feel as a result of those actions.

When it comes to your purpose and the person that you one day need to be, you need to get to a point where you’re unapologetic for the decisions that you make. Sarah Jakes-Roberts said in one of her sermons that once you start putting your purpose up for discussion you turn it into a democracy. When you start allowing other people to dictate your actions and emotions, that’s when you start losing sight of the final destination. This means that sometimes you’ll feel lonely because nobody is going to be in your corner.

Now going back to shame and guilt. In following your purpose some people may guilt trip you for growing beyond the box that they placed you in. And that can result in guilt, from disappointing them, and ending up as shame. But I’m here to tell you a few things:

1)    You need not be ashamed of the gifts and talents that God has given you.
2)    You need not feel guilty for wanting to pursue your purpose even if that means leaving people behind
3)    It is not a crime to be different, even though others are telling you that it is.

So remember that the research said that the best way to combat shame, and in turn, guilt, is to be yourself. Own it. Live it. Love it.


I am an Occupational Therapist by profession, but I have many roles that bring meaning to my life. In short, I love people, books and love.

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