Tenacity to Purpose

In July I shared with my Instagram followers that 2018 was, and still is, my year of isolation. I think that for anybody graduating from varsity and moving to a new place, starting a new job, it requires a lot of adjusting. Whether you are moving to a rural area, or a big city, you have to find new people. New people that you can rely and depend on. As the age old saying goes, no man is an island. This year, however, has taught me that every now and again, isolation is needed. Some sort of separation from your normal routine, normal environment, normal crowd. This separation does not promise comfort. It does not promise a smooth sail. But it does promise growth, it does promise a lot of learning and unlearning, and it does promise adventure. A year ago around this time, I had just finished my final exams of my undergraduate studies. I was trying to catch up on all the sleep that I had missed out on, while trying to come to grips with the reality that I was now done with varsity. The...

It’s Saturday morning. I’m sitting in bed, reading a book while drinking coffee (because what’s a morning without coffee, right?). I live in a block of flats and outside my window, my neighbour’s kids are playing. I listen on as another neighbour hangs her laundry (the washing line also happens to be outside my window), and talks about how hot it is today. I stop reading my book for a minute to do two things. First, I wish that I could mute the sounds outside so that I can focus on my book. I quickly realise that I can’t, so I let that thought go. Second, I realise how awesome it is that I am in a season in my life where I can justify sitting in my bed at 9:30 on a Saturday morning, reading a book. I mean, sure, I also have laundry to do. I could probably also be outside playing, because you’re never too old to play. But on this Saturday morning I could choose to stay in bed and read a book. Choice is a powerful thing, very powerful. Every choice writes a story about your priorit...

Since I wrote the poem “How Girls Are Raised” (if you haven't read it, stop reading and go check it out, and then come back to this post), a lot of my thoughts have been centered around how I would want to raise my one day daughters. I believe that parenthood, along with a lot of other things in life, need intentionality. I am yet to be blessed with the honour of being a parent. From my experience as someone’s child and being on the receiving end of parenting, I believe that one cannot parent thoughtlessly and haphazardly. You have to decide before you become a parent how you would want to raise your children. According to research, we live in a world where almost half of reported pregnancies are unwanted or unplanned. Based on this, it becomes easy to see how most people are not mentally ready for a child and probably haven’t taken the time to figure out how they would want to parent. I was having a conversation with one of my close friends, and she was telling me that she w...

Girls aren’t raised to break. Girls aren’t raised to shake or show signs of fear or weakness. Girls aren’t raised to buckle under pressure. Girls aren’t raised to object. They aren’t raised to raise their voices or their concerns. Girls are raised to listen. Girls are raised to continue loving even when being thrown with rocks. Girls are raised to value the opinion of others and make them their truth. Girls are raised to remain strong no matter what. They are raised to forget their opinion when men enter the room. We are taught to be soft and dependant when needed, but told that we have the strength of a rock when life takes a swing at us. Girls are raised to stay indoors and keep the house clean. Girls are raised to be afraid of going out when it is dark. Girls are raised to not learn important life skills like driving, until it is absolutely necessary. Girls are raised to wait until everyone is served, and then they can help themselves. They are ...

She lives in a world that always has an opinion about her. She lives in a society that always wants to tell her how to act, what to say and what not to do. She lives in a world that is quicker to tell her how to dress, than to protect her. She lives in a world where staying indoors is just as dangerous as being on the streets, because the one that was caressing her last night is the same one who can plant a bruise on her cheek the next day. She is always being told what to do with her body. She is told to cover it up. To cover it up in a way that will make her look unattractive.  Cover it up in a way that will make her look respectful.  Cover it up, so that eyes don’t get a chance to undress her.  Cover it up, because too much flesh means that she’s asking for it.  She’s asking to be catcalled, she’s asking to be harassed, and she’s asking to be raped. I have never heard them tell men what to do with their bodies.  I have never hear...

Why is it that in situations where we need help We isolate ourselves We convince ourselves that we'll receive more judgement than love We tell ourselves that no one will understand Because we're the first to go through something like this Most times it is not those around us that shame and guilt us But it is ourselves It is our own misinterpretation of what being human is It is our misunderstanding of the fact that we are only human And that we are bound to make mistakes and fall sometimes We choose to see ourselves through broken mirrors and lenses No wonder we only see distortion and brokenness Why do we camp at the scenes of our failures Why do we build homes at the moments of our lives that brought destruction Why do we meditate on the thoughts of self blame then wonder why we cannot forgive ourselves Forgive ourselves for forgetting that we are all things strength Forgive ourselves for allowing the need for acceptance to make us discard our identities For...

Wholehearted living is what we are embarking on this year! As described in last week’s blog, this is when you dare greatly in all areas of your life, even when you’ve been burnt before. Along with a new year, for some people, this includes entering new environments. You may be entering a new work place, starting high school, moving to a new town, or any new situation. The challenge with entering new environments is that you’re now tasked with two things. One – Get to know the place . How it works, who forms part of this environment, and what is expected of you. Two – You get to decide for yourself what impact you’re going to have on this environment. Yes, you read right. Oftentimes we think that others shape and influence the type and intensity of the impact that you make on the environment. Or we tend to think that the only impact that will be made, is by the environment on us. But truth be told, it is you and you alone that is responsible for figuring out what kind of impact you...

Today marks the third day of the year 2018. Some of us are glad to be rid of 2017. While some of us are anxious for what this New Year has to bring. The funny thing about new beginnings is that we’re all in the same position. No one has the upper hand, no one has inside info. It’s like standing at the starting line of a marathon. It doesn’t matter where each participant came from, or what they look like. They are all just standing at the starting line. And that is how I am choosing to see this New Year. Of course, the difference comes once the starting pistol goes off. Then it’s anyone’s race. New beginnings bring with them an array of emotions. For some, you’re starting a new life in a new place. A new job, new relationship, new school, or a new marriage. These new beginnings can bring excitement, adventure, peace, hope, maybe a little bit of anxiety. Anxiety, on a large scale can be a negative thing. But anxiety actually helps us in many ways. Scientists have learned that anxiet...