If It's Not Too Much To Ask

Since I was young I’ve had a hard time asking for help from anyone. I sort of just figured stuff out on my own or I waited until the very last minute to admit that I couldn’t do it. And then with every ounce of energy that I could summon up, go and ask someone for help. But over the last few years God has been helping me change my ways. And most times He gets me to ask for help specifically from people I try to get away from but that was before I realised that it was just pride. But that’s a story for another day.

Recently, while asking for help I was made aware of the choice of words I would use when doing it. I was about to type out “If it’s not too much to ask” but then I stopped and asked myself “is there an actual scale for how much is too much to ask?” Another example is the comparison between just saying “Can you help me, yes or no?” and “Can you help me, yes or no? If no, then I can ask someone else.” Why do we even say that? Obviously if you thought the person couldn’t do it, you would have not asked them in the first place. This is what I realised…

We are very manipulative and abusive in our use and choice of language. Oftentimes even when just asking for something innocently, the way in which we ask can make the other person feel like it’s their obligation to help us when it isn’t. Or we put them in competition with somebody else who could potentially meet the need that we have better than they can. And in that moment of realisation I stopped and wondered where I had learned this. I stopped and wondered how many people I had unconsciously hurt and manipulated with my words.

From that moment, I became very critical of the words that I used, and I continue to do so. I want to ask that you join me in this journey of just analysing how we use language as a weapon. I find that the people that don’t grow are people who don’t regularly stop and look within, and question their own actions, motives and intentions. Were there any instances where your words (harmful or manipulative) led a situation in a certain direction? Leave your comments below. 
I am an Occupational Therapist by profession, but I have many roles that bring meaning to my life. In short, I love people, books and love.

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