Your Love Box 2

I was talking to a couple of friends during the week about last week’s blog and some really interesting truths came out. The things that are in our love boxes found their way there for different reasons. It might be that you were in a relationship and it didn’t work out and now you have learned what kind of treatment you deserve. It might be that you have never been in a relationship and the things that are in your love box are based on the romantic movies you’ve watched. It might be that you came real close to your definition of love and then out of nowhere, things ended.

In the first instance, experience is what helped you gather the things that are in your love box. In the second instance, lack of experience and a detachment from reality is what built up your box. And in the third instance, fear and building up of defence mechanisms might be what has filled up your box. This has made me realise that it is of utmost importance for us to continually interrogate ourselves. For you to question the things that you carry around. So when you look at the things that are in your box, you need to be able to say what the source of that thing is. What happened, what did you go through in order for that thing to be in your box? Was it fear? Was it a romcom? Was it the example you saw of love from your parent’s marriage? Was an article in a magazine? Was it the Word of God?


Secondly, you need to ask yourself whether you still want to hold onto those things. Have they served you well since you’ve been carrying them around? Are they going to actually act as a barrier to finding love instead of being the help that you thought they were going to be? Experience is a great teacher; it’s not the only teacher though. So even though you’ve never been in a relationship and find yourself with destructive things in your box, ask yourself what you have been reading and watching. What have you been exposing yourself to, and are those things doing you good? 

Sometimes we hold onto things that we should have never picked up. We hold on to a look that your partner has to have, if his nose is a centimetre wider than you want then he’s not the one. If his sense of style is not on par, then he’s not the one. If she’s not as curvaceous as you wanted her to be then you’re on to the next one. If she can’t sing and you play the keyboard, you throw her to the side because you want a musical family. These things can prevent you from getting what you need. So I’ll ask the same questions I asked last week. What’s in your love box? Anything you need to let go of?
I am an Occupational Therapist by profession, but I have many roles that bring meaning to my life. In short, I love people, books and love.

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