Tenacity to Purpose

On the first day of lockdown I was running a leisure group with a colleague, and I asked each of the clients to name their favourite game as a child. After each person in the room had had their turn, I asked them to think back to how they felt when they were playing that game, and when was the last time they had that same feeling. I have written on many occasions about our need to keep busy and giving too much focus on work. But one thing that we have lost as a result of focusing on the grind is our ability to play. When was the last time you played, and laughed and felt as free as a bird? It was upon asking my clients that question that I myself was forced to reflect and ask myself what has been stopping me from playing and creating moments where I can experience joy with no sign of anxiety or stress in sight? It is easy to blame our schedules, our responsibilities and even our dependents for having less time to play. But the truth is that we are in control of how we spend our t...

There are days. There are days when it feels as if it is winter. But it is only winter for me. Everybody else is experiencing summer together. They are enjoying the rays of the sun, basking in its warmth.  There are days. Days when coffee isn't enough to wake me up. When chocolate no longer lifts my mood. And music doesn't do the trick because I can't even decide which song I want to listen to. There are days. Days when I wish that I could sleep for 12 hours straight, so that I have less of the day to deal with. So I can talk less and keep the fake smiles to a minimum.  Days when it feels like it isn't just cold outside, but inside as well. And when those days come. Because they do come. I choose to wait it out. No use in fighting. No use in using the little energy that I have. So I wait. I wait for a sunny day. I wait for the clouds to go away. Because trying to fight it sometimes only makes it worse. And there...

The human body is a well-designed machine, able to fight off diseases, able to house and nurture new life until it is time to give birth. Our brains, being the motherboard, controls function to the different parts of the body. It has control for things like appetite, emotions, even our motor functioning! It still amazes me how much our bodies are able to do and how much they are able to handle. But have you ever gotten to a point where the body is fatigued? Even the thought of getting out of bed has already depleted the little energy you had? Well, when we don’t manage our stress levels well, our body tends to throw out warning signs to let us know that we need to slow down. What kind of signs, you ask? Let me tell you… Being a health professional working specifically in mental health, I see a lot of patients come in complaining of how at first their energy levels went down, and then they struggle with headaches or even tummy issues. I myself struggled for a while with chest pain...

Building a new habit is not always as easy as they make it to seem. 21 days, they say. Surely it can’t be that easy. Because when you’re a recovering people pleaser, anything can be a trigger. The urge to go back to your old ways will sometimes be so strong, that you need to call a friend to remind you of who you have become. The road to recovery is filled with lots of guilt and shame, because how dare you put  your needs before other’s!? How dare you stop letting other’s words dictate your actions, your life!? How dare you do what makes you happy!? How dare you take back your power!? When you’re a recovering people pleaser, anything can be a trigger. The words of a loved one. The need to feel understood. The craving to be accepted. Sometimes it can be as simple as not wanting to say “no” to a “fairly reasonable request”. But remember why you are here in the first place. Remember why you chose to go to rehab. Remember the freedom that you...