Tenacity to Purpose

It’s Saturday morning. I’m sitting in bed, reading a book while drinking coffee (because what’s a morning without coffee, right?). I live in a block of flats and outside my window, my neighbour’s kids are playing. I listen on as another neighbour hangs her laundry (the washing line also happens to be outside my window), and talks about how hot it is today. I stop reading my book for a minute to do two things. First, I wish that I could mute the sounds outside so that I can focus on my book. I quickly realise that I can’t, so I let that thought go. Second, I realise how awesome it is that I am in a season in my life where I can justify sitting in my bed at 9:30 on a Saturday morning, reading a book. I mean, sure, I also have laundry to do. I could probably also be outside playing, because you’re never too old to play. But on this Saturday morning I could choose to stay in bed and read a book. Choice is a powerful thing, very powerful. Every choice writes a story about your priorit...

Since I wrote the poem “How Girls Are Raised” (if you haven't read it, stop reading and go check it out, and then come back to this post), a lot of my thoughts have been centered around how I would want to raise my one day daughters. I believe that parenthood, along with a lot of other things in life, need intentionality. I am yet to be blessed with the honour of being a parent. From my experience as someone’s child and being on the receiving end of parenting, I believe that one cannot parent thoughtlessly and haphazardly. You have to decide before you become a parent how you would want to raise your children. According to research, we live in a world where almost half of reported pregnancies are unwanted or unplanned. Based on this, it becomes easy to see how most people are not mentally ready for a child and probably haven’t taken the time to figure out how they would want to parent. I was having a conversation with one of my close friends, and she was telling me that she w...

Girls aren’t raised to break. Girls aren’t raised to shake or show signs of fear or weakness. Girls aren’t raised to buckle under pressure. Girls aren’t raised to object. They aren’t raised to raise their voices or their concerns. Girls are raised to listen. Girls are raised to continue loving even when being thrown with rocks. Girls are raised to value the opinion of others and make them their truth. Girls are raised to remain strong no matter what. They are raised to forget their opinion when men enter the room. We are taught to be soft and dependant when needed, but told that we have the strength of a rock when life takes a swing at us. Girls are raised to stay indoors and keep the house clean. Girls are raised to be afraid of going out when it is dark. Girls are raised to not learn important life skills like driving, until it is absolutely necessary. Girls are raised to wait until everyone is served, and then they can help themselves. They are ...

She lives in a world that always has an opinion about her. She lives in a society that always wants to tell her how to act, what to say and what not to do. She lives in a world that is quicker to tell her how to dress, than to protect her. She lives in a world where staying indoors is just as dangerous as being on the streets, because the one that was caressing her last night is the same one who can plant a bruise on her cheek the next day. She is always being told what to do with her body. She is told to cover it up. To cover it up in a way that will make her look unattractive.  Cover it up in a way that will make her look respectful.  Cover it up, so that eyes don’t get a chance to undress her.  Cover it up, because too much flesh means that she’s asking for it.  She’s asking to be catcalled, she’s asking to be harassed, and she’s asking to be raped. I have never heard them tell men what to do with their bodies.  I have never hear...